What is my problem with Tamil movies?

Now many would think me unfit of commenting on anything remotely Tamil or Indian. That's probably because i don't pray, or wear sarees every day, don't believe in marriage and the thalli, and yes because my spoken Tamil needs more than just a little work. But just to set the record straight, I think I'm probably more Indian/Tamil than people would like. I've lived through the culture, the rituals, the praying, and then i lived through the internet, the reading, the feminism, the books and grew. Put me on a checklist, and i would tick off 5 or more than the streotyped Indian characteristics. I have wavy hair, big eyes, long lashes, dark skin, i eat with my fingers (cause i love licking them after!), i talk too loud, i love the noise and chaos that comes with people and relatives, i like mashed up vegetables, i read and write Tamil? But wait, those arent actually just Indian are they? Maybe the physical features, yes, that's just DNA and genes, but everything else is just me as a person. I must have been influenced of course, by my parents, but also by my friends? my teachers? books? the internet? and yes...movies!

Also contrary to popular belief, I have seen quite a number of Tamil movies, most by force i would have to say. But at the same time, i would like to thank my Mom especially, because i sincerely feel i would be unapt to comment on Tamil movies if i wasn't put through each 3hour musical every once or twice a week. I've seen enough tamil movies to tell me that they all have a pattern. Ok let's forget the 5/6 songs in each of them, cause okay a little dance never hurt anyone? And the unrealistic fight scenes, where the hero takes on 10-20 people and flies through the air, stops in mid-air and delivers a kick that knocks them all out!

But the one pattern that is totally unacceptable are all the Indian women portrayed in ALL of these movies. The storyline of each movie is usually about the same old same old i-love-that girl but i'm a parayah. I've seen some awesome movies too i will admit, but definitely nothing revolutionary in the past 10 years or so? Ok maybe one comes to mind, and biographies aren't always that bad. But the idea, that the old movies that were awesome WAS awesome because it dared to tackle social issues way back then, it dared to be different. Now, yes we do have movies about men and women of different castes getting married, but after what? After a 20 minute fight scene, at least one girl being raped or molested, an evil father, and then the HERO (cause that's the way real life is, we all need a Hero to save us!) rescues the girl and ties that thalli. What message is this? That all men are supposed to be born Heroes that every girl needs? That racial discrimination can only be settled by a 20 minute fight scene? And what happens to all women?

I understand that it caters to the Indian majority back in India, but that is the whole issue here. Not just for Tamil movies but for movies in general. Media has so much of responsibility to influence and educate the public and here we are sending them all the wrong messages! I am not saying there are no SUCKY english movies , yes there are! But today i shall tackle Tamil movies, and the one major flaw i do not see in english movies, the role of women in society. Women in western movies have evolved! Beyond the point that now SEX, is no big deal! Yes they have sex, but then they also have awesome careers and amazing lives. Correct me if i'm wrong, but the main argument for Western movies coming from a Tamil movie fanatic would be that : Women sleep around, and that degrades our society and our values! Women have affairs, and that degrades our society and cultural values!       But really, who are we kidding? Everyone has sex! And there's absolutely no reason why it's only totally unacceptable that women have sex or have affairs!

And I for one, am totally fed up, with the society that has been created by Tamil movies and its likes, even here in Malaysia. I've never been able to walk anywhere without one guy singing a Tamil song to me, or screaming at me to look at him or whistling as i walk by, or say demeaning vulgar things about my body and how he'd like some of my sugar! When did harassing women become okay? When did it become the norm? I believe Tamil movies only fuel this on. It only makes it okay, that THAT is courting, and soon i WILL as all Tamil movies, drop something on the ground, pick it up and look into his eye and fall in love with him. I believe Tamil movies contribute to the abused women sitting in the corner of a house somewhere, thinking that the biggest sin would be to get rid of the "thalli" and leave her husband. I believe Tamil movies contribute to a woman being slapped across the face and thinking that its okay because it is the right of a man or a husband. I believe Tamil movies tells women that if they're raped, they should feel so ashamed of themselves that they might consider suicide, or to marry the animal that raped them. I believe Tamil movies only further enforce the male supremacy attitude that is stopping Indian women from developing as people, as contributors of a country. I believe Tamil movies only fuel on the ego that is MALE and unravels all the work feminism has been trying to achieve in the past 50 years!

I am OKAY with ridiculous story lines, but i feel social issues that matter, like FEMINISM should be addressed in Tamil movies, if we're ever going to change the mind sets of the community we're in. For once, I want to like a Tamil movie because it addresses that women are just as likely to be HEROs and to save the day, or better that we are human beings like men that have careers and personalities and contributions to the country and the world and not only be in the movies to fall in love, to marry, to be raped, or to be saved!

Feminism after Boyfriends and if we must, Husbands!

So what is this i hear about saying No to feminism once you've found that frog to kiss?

People find it hard to accept the fact that yes we can be feminists even after marriage, or being in a relationship. I'm often faced with the same remark everytime I say "Fry their balls!". I think the act of feminism always comes back to the idea, that if you are a feminist, then you must naturally REALLY want to fry all mens' balls! Hmm....idea? But no, in all seriousness i think this cannot be more misconstrued. Feminism i think is logical. It is what anyone should be. Regardless of gender. It's no big secret that women ARE the mistreated, abused, disadvantaged group of people here. So i would think anyone who feels such a way, would be a feminst. I don't deny that there are human rights violation against men as well, but who are the unavoidable perpetrators?  Unfortunately, men themselves.

This weird idea that feminism has to exist by itself, independently, away from family ties and boyfriends and husbands is just not acceptable. And also the idea that all feminists are usually gay? What is that? Another male invented pornographic image that even the mere idea of women fighting for their rights is made into a display to give them yet another hard-on.

Because women, are just NOT the standing up and fighting type, we're not even the driving type, or the voting type. Well we weren't any way.

Yes feminism has come a long way, we can vote, we can drive, we can ride on buses, but is that enough? No! Feminism is very much still relevant if there are still women being stoned to death in Iran, women being raped every minute of the day, women being abused by husbands, women made to feel ashamed of their bodies, women made to feel ashamed of being a woman!

And I'm just putting it out there but i feel, if any feminist out there, was with a man who feels the same way, then YES its ok if he was a feminist too! What is wrong with this picture? Nothing. The fact is, women are STILL being abused and raped and murdered, remains even if you are married or have a boyfriend.

I mean the whole arguement that if u have a boyfriend or are married, then you cannot think that men are kinda sucky mostly. That's like saying, i have a father so i cant possibly think that there are any mean fathers in the world, or mothers for that fact!

You could be a manist i guesss, but i would think the number of men being discriminated against and abused, is way less than women, that that would be a pretty insignificant thing to do. Then there's the humanists, the ones that say they're no sexist, that they're in it for the whole human race, i'm sorry but that makes you a feminist! Because there is just no way human kind is ever going to be the best it can, without women being part of the equation, and humanists cant exist until there is equality between women and men. That would just mean you're a humanist, but the majority of things that you would be advocating would be for women, thus a feminist disguised as a humanist.

I'm no big fan of labels, but being a feminist is perhaps the only label that i've ever felt close to and proud to be. So i guess if all men out there, refuse to be called feminists, but still are being part of the solution instead of the problem, who think women deserves the same amount of respect as men, deserves the same amount of everything as men do, then they're ok. But then again, I'm thinking if there were such a man, i would think labels wouldn't bug him.

Striving for better.

Right, so the past month has not been a good month for feminism. I feel it's a long long hard uphill battle and nothing is helping.

I've been around deaths a lot recently being posted in hospitals and making my rounds in the wards. And it's really made me think about life , weirdly. My biggest fear is death, but it is the only thing thats certain. YOU will die. Its not an IF.

And being around friends and family, and to hear about dreams and aspirations, It's funny how all most of us do, is just find a way to fit in life,to move along like sheep , to take standard dreams that have been put in place by races and religions and call it our own, to believe it IS our own.

Talking to many of my friends, it's really just astonishing to hear about how too many people STRIVE to get married! Ok, so i don't get marriage to start with but fine, you want to get married, OK! but to strive for it? Have we really become so mundane? Girls i speak with, tell me a detailed series of what they want to do till they're 25, then they say, 26 i get married! Then the worst part....They stop talking! So i naturally think they need to take a breather for that 4 years or life narration, turns out that's it! That's life as they know it.

When did marriage become the ultimate thing to achieve? How does life stop after marriage? Can't we still be feminists after marriage? Can't we still climb Mt.Everest? Would we die if we left our fragile husbands to fend for themselves, or worst COOK for themselves and took a month off to go to Africa?

It's absolutely saddening to think how most girls think that marriage is the ULTIMATE! Yes it is an experience, an adventure maybe even to live with someone else and share your life and all your sleeping habits, but should it really be the end of experiencing anything else? Alone? With other friends?

Say what you will but marriage seems not good enough of a reason to stop dreaming and aspiring for bigger better things!

And how horrible is it that only women DREAM of getting married.

It's awesome if marriage and all its equivalent is just another experience in life, and women get to do so many other things than just tend to their husband's needs and pop out children. That i think is ideal, and what women who want to get married should strive for.

If half the women out there put in as much effort and care as they put into taking care of the household and their babies and their husbands, change in the world would come so much easier.