Feminism after Boyfriends and if we must, Husbands!

So what is this i hear about saying No to feminism once you've found that frog to kiss?

People find it hard to accept the fact that yes we can be feminists even after marriage, or being in a relationship. I'm often faced with the same remark everytime I say "Fry their balls!". I think the act of feminism always comes back to the idea, that if you are a feminist, then you must naturally REALLY want to fry all mens' balls! Hmm....idea? But no, in all seriousness i think this cannot be more misconstrued. Feminism i think is logical. It is what anyone should be. Regardless of gender. It's no big secret that women ARE the mistreated, abused, disadvantaged group of people here. So i would think anyone who feels such a way, would be a feminst. I don't deny that there are human rights violation against men as well, but who are the unavoidable perpetrators?  Unfortunately, men themselves.

This weird idea that feminism has to exist by itself, independently, away from family ties and boyfriends and husbands is just not acceptable. And also the idea that all feminists are usually gay? What is that? Another male invented pornographic image that even the mere idea of women fighting for their rights is made into a display to give them yet another hard-on.

Because women, are just NOT the standing up and fighting type, we're not even the driving type, or the voting type. Well we weren't any way.

Yes feminism has come a long way, we can vote, we can drive, we can ride on buses, but is that enough? No! Feminism is very much still relevant if there are still women being stoned to death in Iran, women being raped every minute of the day, women being abused by husbands, women made to feel ashamed of their bodies, women made to feel ashamed of being a woman!

And I'm just putting it out there but i feel, if any feminist out there, was with a man who feels the same way, then YES its ok if he was a feminist too! What is wrong with this picture? Nothing. The fact is, women are STILL being abused and raped and murdered, remains even if you are married or have a boyfriend.

I mean the whole arguement that if u have a boyfriend or are married, then you cannot think that men are kinda sucky mostly. That's like saying, i have a father so i cant possibly think that there are any mean fathers in the world, or mothers for that fact!

You could be a manist i guesss, but i would think the number of men being discriminated against and abused, is way less than women, that that would be a pretty insignificant thing to do. Then there's the humanists, the ones that say they're no sexist, that they're in it for the whole human race, i'm sorry but that makes you a feminist! Because there is just no way human kind is ever going to be the best it can, without women being part of the equation, and humanists cant exist until there is equality between women and men. That would just mean you're a humanist, but the majority of things that you would be advocating would be for women, thus a feminist disguised as a humanist.

I'm no big fan of labels, but being a feminist is perhaps the only label that i've ever felt close to and proud to be. So i guess if all men out there, refuse to be called feminists, but still are being part of the solution instead of the problem, who think women deserves the same amount of respect as men, deserves the same amount of everything as men do, then they're ok. But then again, I'm thinking if there were such a man, i would think labels wouldn't bug him.

Striving for better.

Right, so the past month has not been a good month for feminism. I feel it's a long long hard uphill battle and nothing is helping.

I've been around deaths a lot recently being posted in hospitals and making my rounds in the wards. And it's really made me think about life , weirdly. My biggest fear is death, but it is the only thing thats certain. YOU will die. Its not an IF.

And being around friends and family, and to hear about dreams and aspirations, It's funny how all most of us do, is just find a way to fit in life,to move along like sheep , to take standard dreams that have been put in place by races and religions and call it our own, to believe it IS our own.

Talking to many of my friends, it's really just astonishing to hear about how too many people STRIVE to get married! Ok, so i don't get marriage to start with but fine, you want to get married, OK! but to strive for it? Have we really become so mundane? Girls i speak with, tell me a detailed series of what they want to do till they're 25, then they say, 26 i get married! Then the worst part....They stop talking! So i naturally think they need to take a breather for that 4 years or life narration, turns out that's it! That's life as they know it.

When did marriage become the ultimate thing to achieve? How does life stop after marriage? Can't we still be feminists after marriage? Can't we still climb Mt.Everest? Would we die if we left our fragile husbands to fend for themselves, or worst COOK for themselves and took a month off to go to Africa?

It's absolutely saddening to think how most girls think that marriage is the ULTIMATE! Yes it is an experience, an adventure maybe even to live with someone else and share your life and all your sleeping habits, but should it really be the end of experiencing anything else? Alone? With other friends?

Say what you will but marriage seems not good enough of a reason to stop dreaming and aspiring for bigger better things!

And how horrible is it that only women DREAM of getting married.

It's awesome if marriage and all its equivalent is just another experience in life, and women get to do so many other things than just tend to their husband's needs and pop out children. That i think is ideal, and what women who want to get married should strive for.

If half the women out there put in as much effort and care as they put into taking care of the household and their babies and their husbands, change in the world would come so much easier.

Xs

I think 2010 has every other couple out there on the edges of their seats just to tie the knot and take that long jump into oblivion! It's got me thinking about all those movies, when just as the bride or groom says I DO, some jealous heart broken ex starts banging on glass mirrors and start screaming their names!


Ex-es! They're always drama. All that talk about mutual friends, mutual break ups, is almost bullshit. The chances are someone loses interest or discovers some nasty habit of yours they just cant stand or decides career comes first and just leaves.They probably move on to bigger better things and in 2 weeks or 2 months are in a new relationship. Then the someone else always always gets left behind.


Drama always exists when exes do. The jealous ex, the heart broken ex, the desperate ex, the egoistic ex, the EX!


No ex is a hundred percent cool i think, when they find out you're with someone else and they're alone. Constant questions will be running through their minds about what's so special about this new heart throb of yours, what went wrong, why cant you just be together. 


Of course if you ever do get over your ex, in the quickest amount of time, i say YAY! But I'm just saying that's really rare, well from what I know at least.  


Why all the drama though? Is it that hard for us to move on? I get it, the sharing, the trust and all those memories, but life's too short, and chances are there's gonna be maybe hundreds or more men/women out there that are everything he/she was and a million things more!


I think most of the time, the easiest thing you can bank on for wanting to get over someone, is that huge ego of yours. Come on, we all have one! Just tap into it and remind yourself how awesome you are and what an incredible loss it is for that other person. You could just click your fingers together, and ba-da-ding the next guy/girl is at your feet begging to take you out for a drink!


I guess for me at least, it's easier to not have much to do with exes, because of all the memories and the awkward moments that get retold/relived whenever you see them. I don't really know when that goes away, or can it ever? 


If you're one of the people that can be the bestest of friends with your ex, have late night dinners with her new boyfriend or his new girlfriend and talk about memories and laugh about it, that's absolutely great!


But if you're not, I think give yourself a week or two to wallow with ice cream, pick yourself up with your new found ego , start defacing their photos, erase his number from your cell phone and get yourself out there for a new better person to come along, cause they always do!